MAKE YOUR MARRIAGE A THREESOME!
Preached at Emmanuel, Workington on Sunday, 26th March 2006
Reading: 1 Corinthians 11 verses 1-16.
Text: 1 Corinthians 11 v 12, “All things are from God.”
Occasion: Prior to a wedding due to take place in Cyprus.
“ALL THINGS ARE FROM GOD”
Tonight we say to Nigel and Rachel, the peace of God go with you; the blessing of God be upon you as you marry in Cyprus and commence your new life together. With you in mind, I take as my text words from 1 Corinthians 11 v 12: “All things are from God.” Never forget that all things are from God, whatever happens in the future.
MAN’S HEADSHIP OVER WOMAN
Let’s unpack the verse a little. There were many problems in the Christian community at Corinth. The problems came to head at their Agape meal, during which they kept the Lord’s Supper. Some of the behaviour was shocking. Some over-ate while others starved; some were drunk! Some women flouting themselves, possibly even advertising as prostitutes with shaven heads! Other women were control freaks, ruling the roost!
In order to restore order, Paul appeals to the men to exercise due authority. The principle is stated in 1 Corinthians 11 v 3, “the head of woman is man!” Before men crow over women, read the whole verse: “I want you to know that the Head of every man is Christ, the head of woman is man, and the head of Christ is God.” The safeguard for women is that man is subject to the headship of Christ. Without that, male headship degenerates into cruel tyranny. So long as the man is subject to Christ, women have nothing to fear from male headship.
Paul follows that up in 1 Corinthians 11 v 7, “man is the image and glory of God but woman is the glory of man.” Don’t conclude that woman is not made in God’s image for that would contradict Genesis 1 v 27. Paul explains himself in 1 Corinthians 11 v 8: he has the order of creation in mind. “Man is not from woman, but woman from man. Nor was man created for the woman but woman for the man.” Evidently Paul has Genesis 2 in mind.
On the 6th day of creation, God formed the man out of the dust and God gave him his ‘terms of reference’ and placed him in the Garden. God said, “It is not good that man should be alone. I will make him a helper fit or suitable to him.” First God presented all land animals to Adam to be named, “but for Adam there was not found a helper fit /suitable to him.” So the Lord caused Adam to fall into a deep sleep, during which God removed a rib and from it, formed the woman! So woman was not made from the dust of the earth as a separate creation but was made for man and from out of the man, using his bones and flesh and genes!
On that basis Paul insists on the headship and authority of man and makes man responsible for woman. He applies this not only to husbands and wives, but to church community relationships and to society in general. This is a creation ordinance, the way we have been made and of course, there is an element of judgment in the arrangement. In Ephesians 5 Paul applies the principle to marriage and tells wives to submit to their husbands in the Lord and commands husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the Church and gave Himself for it. A husband’s headship is costly and a heavy responsibility.
Wives with Christ-like husbands like that are truly blessed of God! If you ask them, they will probably tell you that their wives, unlike Eve, have helped them to keep on the straight and narrow!
Modern society claims equality for men and women, so removing man’s responsibility for woman as well as woman’s submission to man. What has happened? As society has abandoned the Christian faith, women have been increasingly degraded as sex symbols; subjected to domestic abuse behind closed doors; and required to run the home and bring up children while pursuing a career! No society ever abandoned single women to bring up children as does our selfish, cruel, heartless and Christless society. Shame on men!
MEN AND WOMEN ARE TO BE INTERDEPENDENT IN THE LORD
Paul is fully aware that the headship of man over woman, taught throughout Scripture and applied to all areas of life, is open to abuse. Self-centered men take advantage of women. So he adds in 1 Corinthians 11 v 11f an objection to men making themselves without women and to women making themselves without men. Most modern translations use the word independent.
In Graeco-Roman society there was a strong tendency either to sexual license or to asceticism. Here Paul is objecting to asceticism, which sadly swept through the Christian church in the early centuries. Men separated from women and made themselves entirely independent; and women did the same. The history of monasteries tells the sad story and it never worked! It led to homosexual and lesbian practices; it led to monks fathering children but not taking responsibility for the women or the children.
Paul backs up his warning against independence in 1 Corinthians 11 v 12: “For as woman came from man (Gen.2), even so man also comes through woman (by childbirth); but all things are from God.”
ALL THINGS ARRANGED OF GOD
It is true that woman was made out of man and not from the dust, but man did not create woman! God created woman out of man! So even if woman is of man and for man, yet more importantly woman is of God!
It is true that man is through woman, by childbirth, but women do not create their own children! God forms the child in the mother’s womb! That is why parents look at their baby in utter amazement and ask, ‘How could I have produced that?’ Did the mother design her babe? Did she know how to form the eyes and ears? No! All things are of God!
Psalm 139 vs 13-17 : “You formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother's womb. I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; marvelous are Your works. My frame was not hidden from You, when I was made in secret and skilfully wrought. Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed. In Your book they all were written when as yet there were none of them. How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God!”
Much the same is true of marriage! A couple meet and a relationship develops that leads to marriage. Was it good chance or an accident? Is all credit due to them? Did they find and choose each other? Was it not God Who brought them together? Has not our Father God given us the one to the other? That is true in marriage; it is true in the church; and it is true in life generally – God brought us together.
If you are able to discern the hand of God arranging your affairs, you will understand when I say that every Christian wedding is an arranged marriage! It is arranged by God Himself for “all things are of God!”
MARRIAGE IS A THREE-SOME! LET GOD BE YOUR FIRST LOVE!
Dear Nigel and Rachel, I cannot stress sufficiently how important it is for you both to know that God has brought you together and given you to each other. They say, ‘It takes 2 to tangle!’ Maybe, but IT TAKES THREE TO MAKE A MARRIAGE AND KEEP IT TOGETHER! It takes God both to arrange and to preserve marriage! That is why Jesus said, “What God has joined together, let not man put asunder.”
Marriage is not easy. Left to yourselves, without God, you will make a mess of it! Left to yourselves, you will disappoint each other. Only “in the Lord” is there power, grace and wisdom to sustain the marriage. We all need God in our life, to manage and order my affairs by His word, lest we destroy ourselves.
Therefore I urge you to love God superlatively; to seek first His kingdom; to learn of Christ and cleave to Him. A husband must love God first so that his love for his wife is driven by his love for God! A wife must love God first so that her love for her husband is driven by her love for God! For “all things are of God!”
Only in the Lord is a man able to be head over his wife and take responsibility for her good; only in the Lord is a woman able to be a helper fit and suitable for her husband, and not be like Eve tempting him. The great safeguard in all our relationships is that “all things are of God.” God give us grace to live out our lives in the knowledge that “all things are of God.” Thanks be to Him!
